If you are trying to make someone feel guilty who is an adult, you are the problem (assuming you are not their coach teaching a conscience or awareness that is missing).

If you are telling stories about one person to another when that other person has nothing to do with it, you are the problem (talk only to the person it has to do with or you may be acting out).

If you are acting needy and like someone else doesn’t have a right to their boundaries, you are the problem.

If you have a family that has weird boundaries and you don’t learn to do it totally differently, you may be the issue.

If any of these above things happen in your behavior then learn to respect the other person’s model of the world.

If you aren’t the issue, then…

Some of you have asked me what I do if I find out someone has toxic energy or behavior.
The first thing I do is check myself to make sure I am not in a loop or strategy caused by my own anchors. (past emotions that may have nothing to do with the present situation)

Then, I look for the boundary anchors that the person is firing and back up a level or two. (how that person getting close to others, past business boundaries for instance, may be where the issues are)

Then I pray and praise and thank God and imagine an energy field between myself and the person who is toxic.

If I was needy and got too close to foolish drama in the first place I retrace my steps, notice the error, and then rehearse repeatedly how to handle it in the future. I also notice if my need to be needed instead of liking someone or being attracted is what really puts me in the weeds.

Here is what I don’t do

• I don’t feel shame
• I don’t change what I like or dislike as a whole because that will just make a person repressed. You deserve to chase your dreams. This includes some that others don’t totally understand.
• I don’t get defensive everywhere just with that person energetically.
• Then I control the amount of time I am exposed to that person. I assume that what they need God will give them somewhere else if they cannot respect or be non toxic around me.
• And I can only remember to do this about 9/10 of the time. I wish it was all the time.

Now think of each time you read “I” and believe it is you who has this skill now.