Boundaries - How and when to make them!

How good are you at allowing other people to decide their  boundaries?  How are you at letting them be as close to you as distant as their past experiences feel comfortable?  How are you at being close to someone, having the situation change in one way or another and then accepting the new boundary instead of having things come all the way apart?  Do you understand that people can have a right to their secret reasons for doing some things? 

Here is a list of important reasons some people might make the boundary with you a little more distant or formal.

 An embarrassing health problem that they know will not help to discuss.  Or a downer health problem for which they don’t need sympathy so they boundary up to keep things positive with others.

An awareness of what you need and the responsible ethics to boundary up to not be in the way of what you need.  Sometimes, people are mature and really do have your best interest at heart.

An extreme issue somewhere in their life with a dangerous personality that they are dealing with.  While that problem is going on many people are smart enough to only get assistance from professionals or law enforcement and not put other people in the soap opera or the actual danger.

A need to keep your approval and an awareness that something they are going through may risk that approval.  Keep in mind that they may be amazing people that you need and they might even be right about your bias.

Immature boundary issues are either keeping high boundaries to get away with something or piercing boundaries that should be kept because of being needy in some way.